As a person who travels by airplane fairly regularly, I’m amazed at all the people and things I see everytime I set foot in an airport.
While flying recently, I was amazed at how long it took some people to get settled in their seat, at the expense of everyone waiting in the aisle behind them. As such, I figured I’d do some community service and share some tips I’ve picked up over the years to avoid being ‘that guy’ on an airplane who holds the line up.
-Do us all a big favor and get the things you’ll likely be using during the flight out of your bag while you’re in the waiting area and before you get in the queue to get on the plane. That includes your knitting, your book, your iPod (and of course, headphones) or anything else. If anything, get it all into the bag you’re stowing under the seat in front of you. For me, I generally only read the newspaper and/or a book and listen to my iPhone while flying. That means my headphones are in my pocket with my phone, and my reading material is in my hand when I get on the plane.
-Same thing goes with your jacket — if you’re not going to wear it during the flight, take it off before you get on the plane. I’ve been hit in the head enough times by people flailing around with their blazers and coats to know that there’s a better way to do things.
-While you’re in the boarding area, take a look around and see how full the flight is, and see where you are in the boarding process. Full flight and boarding in zone 18? Don’t bother trying to get your suitcase in the overhead bin. Instead of walking back to row 40 only to find out that all the space is taken and then bitching about how you’re entitled to overhead space, get what you need out of your bag and then gate check the thing. You’ll get it when you get off and you’ll save all of us a headache. If you want overhead space, figure out how to get into a higher boarding group – it’s what I did a long time ago.
-Likewise, if the bag you’re planning on putting in the overhead bin is bulging at the seams like a python that just ate a pig, just gate check it. You’re fooling yourself, and making a fool out of yourself, when you try and force it into the bin, only to be told by the flight attendant that it’s too big. Admit it, gate check it, and move on.
-Once you’re on the plane and walking down the aisle, it’s go-time. As soon as you get to your row, throw whatever you’re going to use during the flight as well as what you’re stowing under the seat in front of you on your chair, and get the other stuff into the overhead bin as fast as you can. If you know you’re going to need help, ask for it ahead of time. Most people – including myself – will help you if you ask nicely. Then get in your row and get the hell out of the aisle.
-Now if you’re already seated but there’s an empty seat next to you that someone coming down the aisle might be occupying, don’t start doing ANYTHING — reading a book, sending a text message, sleeping, looking for people to join the Mile High Club with, etc. Keep your eyes on the people coming down the aisle, and as soon as someone makes eye contact or gives off the vibe that they’re sitting in your row and will need to pass you, get up and out of their way. You’re as much a part of the problem as they are, and as such, you’re as much a part of the solution as they are. No matter how important you think that article in US Weekly is, it can wait until your row is full.
-With respect to the above, once you’ve sat down, don’t get back up. You’re just screwing up the system. Believe me, it can wait until the captain turns off the fasten seat belt sign.
Doing these simple little things will help you avoid looking like an idiot while getting on a plane and pissing off all those people behind you, and it will help us get going a bit faster, so that I can in turn get off the plane a little bit faster and hopefully never have to see you again.
Happy travels from the guy giving you that condescending look as you struggle with your bag.
